Speaking my mind ...
This is where I express my individual opinions.... at times
I turn a critique reviewing movies that I've seen, then I
turn 'Woody Allen'ish splurting out jokes that gave me tummy
aches laughing at, at times I turn a la George "Make-no-mistake"
Bush exhorting against the perpretators of the World Trade
Centre attackers. All that I say is my very own opinion and
if you don't like what I say please feel free to move your
mouse to the top right hand corner and shut the god damn browser
window !!
I consider this my very own treasure trove where I store
all the goodies I consider are important... be it romantic
love lines, tickleful jokes, thoughtful
poems... anything that touches my fancy finds its place here.
tickleful jokes
Sunta and Bunta Singh were very fond of cricket. They would
go to every game that happened in their city. One day Sunta
Singh died in a car accident while he was on his way to a
cricket game.
A few days later he came to visit his friend Bunta in a dream.
Bunta asked Sunta if heaven was good. Sunta replied that it
was better than being on Earth. Bunta Singh wanted to know
if there was cricket in Heaven. Sunta Singh said, "Well,
I have good news and bad news for you." Bunta asked,
"What's the good news?" "Well, Bunta, yes there
is cricket in Heaven - but the bad news is you are opening
batsman in tomorrow's game."
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what did the mouse say to the male mouse?
keech... keech...
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The sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs
start approaching he is covering in
his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya
baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" (What
Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?).
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai
ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "(
I am an intelligent(?) man, I know it is a movie, but does
that animal know?)
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Good Memory
One day Musharaf Khan was sitting in his office on the thirteenth
floor of a building when a man came running in to his office
and shouted "Musharaf Khan" your daughter Preeto
just died in an accident!!" Musharaf was in panic.
Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window.
While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered
he didn't have a daughter named Preeto.When he was near the
fifth floor he remembered he was not married. When he was
about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Musharaf
Khan.
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Sunta and Bunta Singh were very fond of cricket. They would
go to every game that happened in their city. One day Sunta
Singh died in a car accident while he was on his way to a
cricket game.
A few days later he came to visit his friend Bunta in a dream.
Bunta asked Sunta if heaven was good. Sunta replied that it
was better than being on Earth. Bunta Singh wanted to know
if
there was cricket in Heaven. Sunta Singh said, "Well,
I have good news and bad news for you." Bunta asked,
"What's the good news?" "Well, Bunta, yes there
is cricket in Heaven - but the bad news is you are opening
batsman in tomorrow's game."
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Be careful
A guy named Gullu showed his plam to a palmist . He examined
the lines on Gullu's hand & said,'A beautiful girl will
come your way, but be very careful.' 'Why should I have to
be careful?' asked Gullu. 'She should be careful of her life.
I drive a bus!.
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Sweet Revenge
Santa Singh told his wife that after his death she should
marry Banta Singh."But why should I marry
Banta who is your enemy no 1" enquired his wife. Santa
quipped, "Oh Darling, this is the only way I
can take my revenge from that useless fellow.
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The Librarian
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the librar and said,"I
borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've
ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far
too many characters " The librarian replied, "Oh,
you must be the person who took our phone book.
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Spare Bomb
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian
Govt and decided to blow up the parliament.They took 2 bombs
put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and
se off. Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast
off now" Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a
spare bomb in the
back seat"
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Lalloo goes hunting
Lalloo decides to go for hunting lion along with his other
2 friends. The first friends hunts 1 lion.
Lalloo asks him “How did you got lion hunt”. Friend
replies “I saw tracks, followed tracks and shot a lion”
Second friend also gets lion hunt. Lalloo ask same question.
Friend replies “I saw tracks, followed tracks and shot
a lion” Lalloo says OK I will go for lion hunt and get
2 lion hunts.
Lalloo returns with broken bones.Friends ask Lalloo what happened?
Lalloo say “I saw tracks, followed tracks but got hit
by train
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Good Ones
Q surd going to London on a plane, how can you stea his window
seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in
the middle row.
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Q How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
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Q What is the surd doing when he holds his hands tightl over
his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
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Q Why did the surd stare at frozen orange juice can fo 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
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Q Why do surd work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
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Q What did the surd do when he noticed that someone had already
written on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
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Q How do you confuse a surd?
A: You don't.They're born that way.
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Q How do you keep a surd in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
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Q Why can't surd make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
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Q Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: because below 18 was not allowed !!!
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Q What's the difference between a surd and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a compute once.
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Q Why do men like surd jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
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Q What does a surd say when you ask him if his blinker is
on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
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Q What do you get when you offer a surd a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
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Q What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
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Q What do you call a surd in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
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Q What do you call a surd with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
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Q What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
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Q Why are surd hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
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Q A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should
cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
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Q What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A surd parade.
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Surd #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Surd #2: "No, who wrote it?"
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Surd: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
Surd: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the
weirdest thing
I have been asking that question all day, and each time I
get
a different answer."
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Loose Weight
To loose weight ,the doctor told surjit singh that if he
ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,he would loose 34
kilos. At the end of 300 days, sardarji called the doctor
to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's
the problem?" Asked the doctor The Sardar siad,"I'm
2400 kms from home"
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Wrong Number
Mrs. Balbinder Singh was in the habit of having long conversation
on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day
she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today?
asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour
conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Balbinder Singh.
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Prasad asks Kumble to bring a pepsi.
Kumble brought bottle of pepsi but directly goes to Tendulkar.
WHY?
Because Tendulkar is opener!
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The fine
Musharaf Miya was in court charged with parking his car in
a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything
to say in his defence."They should not put up such misleading
notices,"said Banta Singh." It said FINE FOR PARKING
HERE."
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You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and
say, "I'm a fantastic dancer."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous
girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you
says, "He's a fantastic dancer."
That's Advertising.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie,you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops
it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm
a fantastic dancer."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to
you and says, "I hear you're a fantastic dancer."
That's Brand Recognition!
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*** All jokes are are to be taken in healthy light spirit
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